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bacchichiccups@gmail.com
Jan 22, 2012
1:05pm
I’ve been having very bad dreams. Please read this.
Most of them I don’t remember, except that they are terrifying and make me antsy all day, but last night I had the worst one I ever had. So bad that it carried over into my waking life.
I dreamed that the world was ending. I dreamed that some… being… had altered things in our area of the galaxy, and the moon was smashed, and the sun had gone out, and everything was out of order. I say “being” because I don’t want to say alien, because I don’t mean like a tangible, visible, or even understandable type of alien, it was something beyond our comprehension, but something from somewhere else. That needed our part of… everything.. to correspond with their existence. And not ours. And so the way they altered things, and I don’t know how, made it so time was wrong, and because all order was gone, we were dying, but we were also all insane. Without time or space in alignment with our brains, we couldn’t rationalize anything, so even though we “knew” what was happening, we couldn’t make sense of it all or even communicate with each other. I felt myself dying, and dying somewhat crazy, and these… things.. were watching all of us go mad and just.. stop living.
At this point I was flailing, and I guess I was flailing in real life, because I smashed my head into Peter’s head, very hard. I think that something about that event, of hitting my head, made things worse, and I got stuck half way in the dream and halfway out. I knew where I was, and partly felt awake, but I couldn’t think right, and I still felt I was dying and the end of time was happening. I kept trying to tell Peter what was going on, but all I could say was “I don’t know what’s going on.” Now, I had hurt Peter pretty severely, and he just kept telling me to go back to sleep. And I thought the world was ending, and so I wanted to be close to him when it happened. But I couldn’t say it, and he wasn’t having it. I felt so weird. He told me to go to sleep. I told him I thought I had been drugged. I said this because it sorta clicked that I was in my bedroom and I was breathing, so maybe I was hallucinating. But I felt all tingly, and time was not processing normally, so I still knew the world was ending and that was why I was crazy. I felt, a presence in the room, someone watching me suffer. So I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. I tried so desperately to sleep, because I decided I didn’t want to be awake at the moment of my own death. So I closed my eyes and lay there, shivering and half-insane, and waited to die, alone. I don’t know how long I was awake. I have never been so terrified, too terrified to cry. Eventually I guess I fell asleep.
I was actually surprised when I woke up this morning. I feel psychologically traumatized. I can’t let this go on, I don’t know why I am having bad dreams, and I really need them to stop. Because last night I got stuck in one, and I can’t live like that.
Any ideas?
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bacchichiccups@gmail.com
I’ve been having very bad dreams. Please read this.
Most of them I don’t remember, except that they are terrifying and make me antsy all day, but last night I had the worst one I ever had. So bad that it carried over into my waking life.
I dreamed that the world was ending. I dreamed that some… being… had altered things in our area of the galaxy, and the moon was smashed, and the sun had gone out, and everything was out of order. I say “being” because I don’t want to say alien, because I don’t mean like a tangible, visible, or even understandable type of alien, it was something beyond our comprehension, but something from somewhere else. That needed our part of… everything.. to correspond with their existence. And not ours. And so the way they altered things, and I don’t know how, made it so time was wrong, and because all order was gone, we were dying, but we were also all insane. Without time or space in alignment with our brains, we couldn’t rationalize anything, so even though we “knew” what was happening, we couldn’t make sense of it all or even communicate with each other. I felt myself dying, and dying somewhat crazy, and these… things.. were watching all of us go mad and just.. stop living.
At this point I was flailing, and I guess I was flailing in real life, because I smashed my head into Peter’s head, very hard. I think that something about that event, of hitting my head, made things worse, and I got stuck half way in the dream and halfway out. I knew where I was, and partly felt awake, but I couldn’t think right, and I still felt I was dying and the end of time was happening. I kept trying to tell Peter what was going on, but all I could say was “I don’t know what’s going on.” Now, I had hurt Peter pretty severely, and he just kept telling me to go back to sleep. And I thought the world was ending, and so I wanted to be close to him when it happened. But I couldn’t say it, and he wasn’t having it. I felt so weird. He told me to go to sleep. I told him I thought I had been drugged. I said this because it sorta clicked that I was in my bedroom and I was breathing, so maybe I was hallucinating. But I felt all tingly, and time was not processing normally, so I still knew the world was ending and that was why I was crazy. I felt, a presence in the room, someone watching me suffer. So I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. I tried so desperately to sleep, because I decided I didn’t want to be awake at the moment of my own death. So I closed my eyes and lay there, shivering and half-insane, and waited to die, alone. I don’t know how long I was awake. I have never been so terrified, too terrified to cry. Eventually I guess I fell asleep.
I was actually surprised when I woke up this morning. I feel psychologically traumatized. I can’t let this go on, I don’t know why I am having bad dreams, and I really need them to stop. Because last night I got stuck in one, and I can’t live like that.
Any ideas?
